Saturday, October 3, 2009

My Mother is Completely Inept

Can't a guy get a pedicure around here without bleeding to death? You have asked me for my trust and, foolishly, I have given it.

I was leery at first, but I thought we had this procedure figured out after three years.

NOW THIS!

You carelessly hack part of my limb off, then want me to give you my other paw so you can "finish the job"? I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly over the sound of my life trickling away.

Is this some kind of sick payback for getting unidentified brown stains on your pillow while you were at work?

I hope you are prepared to stay home and spoon feed me while I convalesce because I will no doubt need a blood transfusion and full body cast when you are through.

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